.ILoveEffaSyahirah.

Friday, October 25, 2013

This time i have to be honest. I'm not going to hide it from you anymore. I'm going to be as honest as possible. It was my fault that we argued. No doubt i was damn rude, i admit my mistakes and i didnt think before i speak because i was too angry and i didnt mean what i said. Everything. You said to me before that you tend to say things that you don't mean it when you are mad, it's just to vent your anger on someone. I didnt text you for two days because i know you too well, i know you needed time to cool down to talk to me. I respect that. You yourself said as long as i didnt apologise to your friends, you will not forgive me. Eventhough it was only between us, our argument, why do you think i made an effort to fb message your classmate and asked her to meet me? Why did i do that when i can just ignore whatever you said although you told me i dont have to because i was just wasting my time as you're already getting tired of me? Have you ever questioned yourself why did i do these things? Its kinda stupid but why? Because of one short, simple, straightforward, three words answer. I love you. If you love someone deeply, you are willing to do anything for them. As for me, i dont mind embarrasing myself in front of them saying sorry for you. I really dont mind. I'm sincere doing this. All i asked was if you were still mad at me. Just a simple question. But what did i get back in return? Four messages full of vulgarities and criticism towards your own girlfriend. Especially when you said i've always been a burden to you. I was hurt, i really do. I swear. If someone you really love said that to you, tell me, will you feel hurt? You wont feel that way because all these while i didnt criticise you at all, even if i did i was just normal remarks. You will never feel how i feel like now. Heartbroken. I dont know if this is true but based on what i saw, i was disappointed in you last saturday. I saw your reaction when you saw the ring i gave you for our 6th anniversary. I was observing your reaction all along but i knew you didnt realise that. It was just a normal reaction, you looked as if you were already expecting something from me. Just a smile. And a thankyou. There are some other things which i want to say regarding the ring but i dont wish to say it here. All i can ever say is i am really upset. Do you know how hard it was for me to save that amount of money just to buy a couple ring for us? I'm really really gonna be honest. Have you had any idea why did i bought two rings instead of one when i already have one for myself? Reason is because i dont want you to feel demoralised and compare the price between the first and second ring. I remembered, we paid a total of $108 for the couple ring at Couple Lab but this time i paid $35 for our ring. I wanted to be fair and use the same ring with you. I wanted to purchase a new ring for you at Couple Lab but it was too expensive and i was short of money at that point of time and i decided to go to Jurong Point instead. Do you know why i bought a new ring for you? Because you lost our ring at the arcade. It happened right in front of my eyes. Since that day i promised myself, by hook or by crook i'm going to get it for you for our anniversary, and thats why i purposely said i didnt get for you anything the week before as i dont want to suspect anything. Maybe it was not as good as our first ring, maybe its more cheaper. But looking at your reaction getting the ring, i felt that all my efforts were gone to waste. In just four days, that ring is in the rubbish bin due to argument. I was really down. Afterall it wasnt about the ring. Its about us. You and me. I dont want us to argue again. I dont really mind you throwing our ring but i really hope you would forgive me for fb messaging your classmate. I didnt mean to get you into trouble nor did i want to embarrass you. I did all these for you but i didnt expect things would turn out this way instead. You're the only reason why i'm happy and i dont wish to leave you. If you could give me a chance, i will make full use of it. And please, tell me what i can do to make it up for you. I dont like it either looking at you cleaning up the mess i've created. If there's a need for me to go to cw and explain to your friends, i'm willing to. Once again, i am terribly sorry for what i've done that night and once again, i didnt mean every single thing i said. Truthfully it was just for me to vent my anger. I need you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Contact me asap.

Eppachooluv
7:18 PM